Staying Sober While the World Falls Apart
It's times like these that our sobriety matters most.
I’m an American, born and raised, but that’s something I’m increasingly embarrassed to admit. Although I’m currently living abroad, I’m still extremely concerned about recent events in my home country.
For example, last week, the US and El Salvador announced the latter’s offer to house our prisoners, including our own citizens. It’s a move that I suspect would immediately be struck down by our courts, but the fact that it is even being considered is deeply troubling. As a former public defender, this is an issue close to my heart.
Another legal issue that hits close to home is the new administration’s rapid escalation of deportations—and its newly imposed limitations on refugees. This anti-immigration stance is doing our country irreparable harm. I used to volunteer to help refugees and at-risk immigrants, and I hate to see that they’re being treated even more poorly than usual.
The last example I’ll give is the most disturbing to me, which is the government’s virulent campaign against transgender people. It’s disgusting that a marginalized group—which includes many of my friends and family members—has become a target, simply because the administration wants to distract against real problems in the country.
And these are just a handful of the many, many problems that have been escalating over the past three weeks. I’ve chosen the ones that are most important to me, but there are truly more than I could fit in this short newsletter.
When I see all of these things going wrong at once, it makes me feel powerless. I know that as just one person, I’m not going to have any meaningful impact on America’s policies. No matter how many letters I write or donations I make, I can’t effect change.
As someone who is sober, I know that this feeling of powerlessness can be quite dangerous. It’s all too easy to let these thoughts spiral out of control. I could give into pessimism and nihilism. I could become a “doomer” and convince myself that the world is ending.
However, if I allowed myself to fall into that mindset, a relapse would be all but inevitable.
When we start to believe that the world is irrevocably broken, it no longer makes any sense to stay sober. Why bother avoiding alcohol if the entire world is doomed? Why not just get drunk, and forget about all of the world’s problems until we die?
If we truly believe that the world is falling apart, then sobriety and addiction are both equally meaningless ways to spend these final days.
However, I don’t truly believe the world is ending, and I hope that none of you do either.
Although we certainly have our problems, they are not impossible to overcome. Humanity has faced many dark periods—many that were magnitudes worse than these past few weeks—and we have persevered.
I titled this week’s newsletter “Staying Sober While the World Falls Apart” not because I believe the world is falling apart, but because I know that it’s easy for us to fall into that feeling of despair.
When we’re feeling like this, though, is precisely when sobriety is most important.
If every person who is upset about the world just turned to alcohol to forget their problems, the world really would be coming to an end. The way that we make progress is by each doing our small part.
These past few weeks, instead of telling myself that there’s nothing I can do to change the world, I’ve focused on the ways that I can improve it. How can I support people affected by the policies that are worrying me? What other ways can I make the world a better place tomorrow than it is today?
Since getting sober, one of my goals for each day is to do enough good in the world to outweigh the harm that I cause. It’s admittedly a silly concept because it’s not like these categories are perfectly delineated or as if they can be precisely measured. However, despite that caveat, I’ll say that this mental framework has helped me to live a life that I can be proud of.
I know that I’ve done plenty of things wrong in my life. I was a mean, angry drunk. I’ve been a jerk both by accident and on purpose. I’ve littered more than my fair share.
And I’m still not perfect. None of us are.
However, I’m trying to do the best I can, and I know that I need to be sober to do that.
When I was an alcoholic, I thought of sobriety as the key to becoming a better version of myself, but I had a very selfish view of what that “better version” would look like. I’d have more money. I’d be in better shape. I’d have a more successful career.
Sobriety did help with those internal measures, but I’ve come to believe that an even more important benefit of sobriety is that it helps us act better toward the people around us. Overcoming our addictions turns us into better citizens of the world.
As my country faces a rough four years, I hope that we can all do our part to correct the course back toward a more just and merciful government. And we can’t do that if we’re all drowning our sorrows in alcohol.
When things go wrong, we can’t let that become an excuse for a relapse. Instead, we have to use it as fuel to support our recovery.