When I first quit drinking alcohol, I was bored out of my mind. In fact, the overwhelming boredom was quite possibly the single hardest part of sobriety for me.
I remember having no idea whatsoever how to keep myself entertained, especially during the first couple of weeks. All I could think about was how badly I wanted a drink, and whenever I tried a new activity to fill the time, I’d end up completely distracted by my cravings.
I couldn’t even sit still and watch TV. When I tried, my mind drifted away, I’d lose track of the plot, and my boredom would only increase. (Strangely, books held my attention way better, but still not well enough to fill all of my free time.)
So, what did I do to get over the boredom? I cleaned every inch of my apartment. I tried out new hobbies. I looked for opportunities to get outside.
Sadly, none of it worked very well. Despite all of my efforts, I was still bored the vast majority of the time.
The worst part about the boredom was that it felt like it would go on forever. When I thought about my sobriety, I was terrified of the idea that the rest of my life would be as boring as those first few weeks. If that were the case, would sobriety be possible for me? Would I even want to stay sober, if life without alcohol was truly so dull?
I’ve now been sober for nine and a half years. Fortunately, I’ve discovered that long-term sobriety isn’t nearly so boring as those early days. I’d even go so far as to say that it’s just the opposite: My sober life is vastly more exciting than my life was as a drinker.
Back when I was still drinking, I spent most of my nights alone, drunk, with a computer or TV in front of me. I rarely had an acute “bored out of my mind” feeling, but I wasn’t exactly living a thrilling life. I almost never did anything interesting or out of my routine. I didn’t grow or try new things.
Now that I’m sober, my life has become rich and interesting. I’ve learned new skills, met new people, and traveled to new places. Simply put, I do more.
An example that I use a lot on this blog is that I learned a new language and lived abroad for two years. I could never have accomplished that if I was still drinking every night.
However, there are plenty of less extreme examples as well. Two recent ones come to mind:
First, a few months ago I bought a bike and started bike commuting to work. I couldn’t have done this when I was a drinker for several reasons. I couldn’t have afforded it, because all of my disposable income was going to alcohol. I wouldn’t have been able to wake up the extra 20 minutes early that I need to make the commute, because I was always sleeping in as late as possible. And, I don’t think my body could have handled the exercise, because I was simply so out of shape.
Second, later this summer, I’m going on a week-long vacation abroad. While nowhere near as huge an experience as actually living abroad was, it’s still much more than I could have handled as a drunk. I almost never traveled as a drinker. Like with the bike, I couldn’t afford it. In addition, travel was too disruptive to my drinking routine.
Drinking kept me from waking up early to catch a flight. It kept me from sitting through a long flight without having to pee a million times. It kept me from even having the energy to plan a trip in the first place.
Travel felt so incredibly overwhelming when I was a drinker. It was hard for practical reasons, but it also was just more complicated than I had the mental bandwidth to handle. That’s how I felt about a lot of things back then. Everything just felt so hard, and so I spent night after night at home instead of ever trying anything new.
Since getting sober, life has become easier in nearly every way. This has allowed me to pursue all kinds of opportunities, which has made my life far richer and more exciting.
There isn’t a secret to getting past the boredom and into the exciting part. All that I had to do was stick with sobriety. As time goes on, I’ve naturally built a better and better life. With alcohol out of the way, it feels almost as if exciting opportunities just present themselves.
Boredom is a very serious problem in the early days of sobriety, but those early days aren’t representative of how life will feel years later. My sober life has been anything but boring, and I’ve heard the same from basically every long-term sober person that I’ve ever met.
If you’re still in the early days, try your best to remember that the first weeks of sobriety, or even the first couple of years, are not a good example of what long-term sobriety feels like. Once you get through the rough part, a truly wonderful life can await.