Can Busy Work Replace Addiction?
Why I don't recommend this approach to recovery.
As I mentioned in last week’s newsletter, my plans for this summer were abruptly canceled at the last moment. I’ve now found myself with over a month of unexpected free time and no plans whatsoever.
I finished my last job a few weeks ago, and I had originally expected to spend the summer doing volunteer work until starting a new job in August. Instead, I’m going to be staying at my parents’ house until that next job starts.
There’s a part of me that wants to simply spend the whole summer relaxing, but I know myself well enough to realize that a month and a half is too long for me to just hang out. It would end up making me feel more depressed than relaxed. I want to spend some of the summer having fun, but I also want to use some of this newfound free time productively.
So, when I found out I’d have this extra time off, I quickly started brainstorming what I could do with all of this extra time:
Put in more time practicing Spanish.
Run more often or further.
Get back into lifting weights.
Get ahead on this newsletter or do other writing.
Research new volunteer work or job opportunities.
After I had those initial ideas, I began turning them into actionable steps and putting them into a daily to-do list. For example, I decided to read at least one-tenth of a novel in Spanish each day and to write at least one thing every weekday. In addition to the categories above, I added other random chores and errands that I had been putting off.
It took me only a couple of days to realize that I had swung way too far in the direction of “productivity,” and had forgotten all about relaxing. Even calling my to-do list “productive” is generous. It had actually just become a bunch of busy work that I created for myself.
So, I deleted the to-do list and replaced it with a new one that only included the truly essential chores. I’m still going to pursue some of those goals this summer, but I don’t need to do it by scheduling out every day. I can just relax and work on more productive things whenever I’m in the mood.
If you’re wondering why I’m writing about this in a sobriety newsletter, it’s because this whole ordeal perfectly mirrors what I went through when I first quit drinking.
When I stopped drinking, I had an idea in my head that I would try to live my life “perfectly” from there on out. What I meant by that was that not only would I give up alcohol, but I’d give up every other bad habit too, and I’d replace them by living every moment of every day productively.
It was an attempt to massively overcorrect from my life as an alcoholic. It’s as if I thought I could make up for all the time I had wasted as a drunk by cramming ten times as much into my life post-alcohol.
I read way more books, started getting into exercise, and tried to quit smoking and eat better. When I had free time, I’d try to use it to better myself by learning new skills and hobbies.
All of this can be good under the right circumstances, but I took it way too far. Instead of supporting my sobriety, it ended up adding to my stress. I was less focused on staying sober because I was splitting my energy between sobriety and twenty other projects.
It’s helpful to stay occupied during the early days of sobriety, but not with stressful busy work. Instead, we should aim to use our time with things that are actually productive or simply fun. A simple question we can ask ourselves is: “Is this making sobriety easier or harder?”
Additionally, the mindset that we bring to each activity can be just as important as the activity itself. For example, I love running and it has helped me immensely with staying sober. However, sometimes I put too much pressure on myself to run nearly every day, and then it adds to my stress instead of reducing it.
I need to occasionally remind myself that I run to have fun, stay fit, and support my mental health. I’m not a professional, and I don’t have to run like one.
When we’re looking for ways to fill our free time in sobriety, we should remember that a hobby is not a job. We don’t need to be so rigid about our hobbies. We should never beat ourselves up over missing a day.
It’s not important whether I run every day or not, but it is absolutely essential that I stay sober every day. I need to save my energy and focus for sobriety, not for the hobbies that I use to support my sobriety.
As this summer continues, I hope that I’ve learned my lesson from those early days of sobriety. I want to use my time productively, but filling every minute with busy work isn’t the way to do it. Instead, I’ll find a balanced way to use my time, have fun, and focus on the things in life that matter.